My very own song paradoy... I am extremley proud of this. It's called "2004" and it's
quite obvious what it is about...
To the tune of "1985" by Bowling for Soup
Brown just punched the wall/they didn't win it all/one bad
start a day/the Yanks win anyway/Their dreams went out the door/no pitching anymore/only one good starting man/what happened
to George's plan?
They were gonna be winners/they were gonna be great/they were gonna dominate/but now they
aint/George Steinbrenner/is now the enemy/looks at his Yankee team/and nothing/is as/it seems since....
(chours)
Damon. and Ortiz/way before Curt Schilling/there was Pedro. And Manny. and everyone would
"Cowboy up!"/and Pedro, he does not/even know his daddy/but we're still preoccupied/with two/with two/with 2004.
We are Yankee fans/we know all the greats/the Bambino, Lou Gehrig/and Mickey Mantle too/saw
Mr. October/and Mr. November/and Rivera is/ One hell of a closer!
Where's the golden ring with set in diamonds?/ and who's the other guy that's giving up some
earned runs?/ when did reality/become losing?/please make this stop!/stop!/STOP!
And bring back....
(chours)
Hate losing/make this stop/when did the Bosox win it anyway? (anyway)/and when did outfielders/look
like Jesus?/please make this stop! stop! stop! STOP!
and bring back...
(chorus 2x)
Did
you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Red Sox players on them ...people couldn't
figure out which side to spit on.
Red Sox fans and Sperm
Q:
What do Red Sox fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Red Sox in the Sand
Q:
What do you have when 100 Red Sox fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Dead Dog and a Red Sox Fan
Q:
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Red Sox fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front
of the dog.
Money saving tip for Red Sox fans:
Rather
than waste more money on yet another replica hat, simply strap a large rubber ***** to your head. It'll be perfectly obvious
to everyone who you support.
Eyes lit up
Q:
How do you get a Red Sox fan’s eyes to light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear!
Driving with a Red Sox fan
Q:
Why is it good to be driving with a Red Sox fan?
A: You can park in the handicap zone!
Red Sox quick humor
Q:
How do you make a Red Sox fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday!
Fax from a Red Sox fan
Q:
How can you tell if a Red Sox fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Johnny Damon in High School
Johnny
Damon is trying to graduate high school. His teacher says if you solve this math problem, you can graduate: What is 14-3?
Johnny says 9, and the rest of the Bosox say, "give him another chance, give him another chance!" So the teacher says "Okay,
what is 7+7?" Damon says 10. The team members say "give him another chance!" The teacher says, "OK, what is 3x3?" Damon says
9, and the rest of the Bosox say "give him another chance, give him another chance!"
Baseball Fans
Three
baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across a dead, naked man with breasts lying in the middle of the street.
After they call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place them on the dead man out of respect and to cover
his private parts until the cops arrive.
The
first fan places his Yankees cap over his left breast, the second places his Phillies cap on his right breast and the third
fan places his Boston Red Sox cap on his pubic area.
The
cops finally arrive, and the officers take statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining that they
found his naked and covered him up with their caps, the cop went over to examine the body. He briefly lifted the Yankee cap,
and quickly replaced it; then he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.
However,
when he lifted the Boston Red Sox cap, he stared and stared for what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the
cap drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted the Red Sox cap once again and stared for a long time.
As
he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and stopped him and asked him why he spent so much time looking
at the man's genitalia, and he said, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an asshole under a Red Sox cap."
Red Sox IQ test
Q:
What does your average Red Sox fan get on an I.Q. test
A: Drool
Bosox hats
Q:
Why would an A's/Red Sox/Mets fan keep a Bosox hat on the dashboard of his car?
A: So he can park in handicapped zones
On
the topic:
Q: What happens to a baseball player who becomes blind?
A: He becomes an umpire
Pennant Fever
A
Boston Red Sox fan, a Chicago Cubs fan and a NY Yankees fan were all in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the US Army.
While off base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested
them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they were sentenced to
death!
With the help of good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, a benevolent Sheik decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, "It's my 1st wife's birthday today, and she has asked me
to allow each one of you one wish before your whipping".
The Cubs fan was 1st in line (he had drunk the least), so he
thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted
10 lashes before the whip went through. The Cubs fan was carried away bleeding and crying.
The Bosox fan was up next (he
almost finished an entire 5th by himself), and after watching the scene, said "OK please fix 2 pillows to my back." But even
2 pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Bosox fan crying like a baby.
The
Yankee fan was the last up, but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said "you support the greatest baseball
team in the world, your supporters are the best and most loyal fans in all the world. For this you may have 2 wishes"
"Thanks,
your most royal highness'" the Yankee fan replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me
not 20, but 100 lashes".
"Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave," said the Sheik. "If 100
lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Shiek asks.
To which the Yankee
fan replied... "Tie the Red Sox fan to my back."
Team Pride
Four
baseball fans, each from a major league city, are climbing a mountain.
On the way to the top, each is arguing about how
loyal they are to their team and what they would do for their team.
As
the climb progresses, the odds increase. Upon reaching the top, the Mets fan shouts, "This is for the Mets," and hurls himself
off the top.
Next
the Brave fan yells, "I love Atlanta, this is for the Braves," and hurls himself off the mountain. Suddenly the Yankee fan yells "This is for everyone," and pushes the Red Sox fan off.
